Schneider vs. Bax

Schneider vs. Bax

DVD - 2016 | Dutch; Flemish
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On his birthday, a hitman reluctantly takes on the easy task of killing a reclusive writer, only to find the job a lot more difficult than expected.


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Jan 07, 2020

Found this film interesting and the plot was fast pace. The film ended seriously different than I expected. If your into off beat, quirky type films that are foreign this one is worth watching. I actually would watch this one again later. For it is great for anyone who is learning Dutch to hear authentic speakers and read the subtitles.

Apr 30, 2018

Horrible. Overly convoluted plot with an ending that made no sense. The attempts at dark humor were more stupid than funny.

Dec 28, 2017

This is a really weird movie, and maybe would have been funny if I had a beer or two in me. It's what can go wrong when two hitman are pitted against each other. A little too much clean-up happens, but the daughter's defense through stripping was brilliant.

Jul 14, 2017

Unexpected ways that had gone wrong in a simple job for a contract kill. The story moved in rapid speed with all sorts of people inserted in twists and turns that were way out in the left field, literally deep out in the Netherlands swamp. But there was no confusion as the characters were distinctively colorful, pretty to look at and their own cause to be in the life and death drama. Very entertaining with LOL deadpan humor - see "Quotes."


Add a Quote
Jul 14, 2017

Tuesday is a lucky day. Didn't you know?
-I'm not doing it.
Schneider, it's important. It's not payback. It's to prevent worse. Ramon Bax is a child-killer.
Who's more important, your daughter or me?
-You, of course. But my daughter and I have a history.
Delete that history then. Like you do after you've watched porn.
I had a meeting.
-With whom?
An editor.
-An editor?
Yes, an editor.
-An editor in a skirt?
-With coke and weed, apparently.
- Yes, to add to the fun.
Still? Do you still need that?
-Stop it, Francisca. Sometimes I take coke or smoke a joint. You eat muesli. I don't comment on that.
Muesli's good for you.
-I don't think so. Muesli depresses me. Muesli's for goats.
Shall we stop this, daddy?
-We? You started this. You haven't been here for ten minutes and you're already checking up on me.
You could also decide not to do it. Think for a moment. You're not an ape, are you?

Jul 14, 2017

Make sure the crying woman leaves.
-That's his daughter.
All the more reason. She has to leave.
You used to console me by telling me a story. Do you remember Edward the Gnome?
-Yes, I remember. Edward only had one leg, but he was happy nevertheless. You should take a page from his book.
-You can't help yourself, can you? Tell me, daddy. About Edward the Gnome.
Right now?
-Yes. That will make me happy.
But I don't remember. It's been so long. Where did Edward the Gnome live
-In the dunes.
I'll bring Jules.
-Jules? Who's Jules?
Someone who can kill you with one thumb.
Be careful. He's smart.
-Why does he have to die exactly?
He's a child-killer

Jul 14, 2017

Why don't you smoke a joint? That'll calm you down. It's like medication.
-I need a bit more to feel better.
I understand, but if you want to feel better, you'll first have to calm down.
-Hashish makes me paranoid.
It's just a light, friendly weed.
-No thanks, dad.
I'll try two more things. Mogadon, a sedative.
-No. It's a sleeping pill. It makes you fat. Do you want me to get fat?
Rohypnol then.
-That's also a sleeping pill. Did I come here to sleep?
Why not? A nap will do you good. I'm trying to help you.
-With drugs! Is that all you have to offer?
A bowl of muesli then?
-Are you making fun of me?
Yes, definitely. You don't want to be helped. You're quite happy to be in the shxt. Come on, Francisca. I care about you, but I'm not a psychiatrist.
-You don't ask anything. You don't want to know. You're not interested in me. I'm a burden because you ...

Jul 14, 2017

He said he was alone.
-But he's with a crying woman.
A crying woman?
-Yes, a woman who's crying.
I'm emotional, daddy. Everything went wrong, last year. Everything I wanted failed.
-Have you spoken to Cato yet?
To Cato? What do I need Cato for?
-First of all, she's your sister.
What do I want Cato for? She gets everything she wants without doing anything for it.
-That's why you should talk to her. You're rigid. You plan everything. Cato goes with the flow. That's the secret, sweetheart.
Why do you bring up Cato?
-I told you. Cato can help.
But Cato isn't here, is she?
I don't know how to do it, daddy.
-How to do what?
-That's why you have to talk to Cato.
You piss me off with your Cato. Cato's in Egypt.

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